You know it's a slow news day when CNN files a brief on South Carolina Governor Mark Sanford's chances of being John McCain's running mate, and Sen. Lindsey Graham comes awful close to sounding sensible.
The headline reads, "Sanford isn't hinting he wants to be VP." No, hints are supposed to be subtle, and there's nothing subtle about Mark Sanford's desire to become McCain's Dan Quayle. He's practically begging.
A man who can't make peace with the leaders of the South Carolina House and Senate -- members of his own party, mind you -- thinks he'll offer some fiiiiine balance to the blustery egotism of McCain. The best part of running with McCain is that he might get to escape South Carolina, where ordinary Republicans hold their noses to vote for him.
Sad thing is, McCain might actually consider Sanford -- no, not for the vee-pee's slot -- for a Cabinet post, since Sanford's a lame duck in South Carolina anyway and the wingnuts and pew-waxers love him. Hmm, is Untersturmfuhrer already taken?
WASHINGTON (CNN) – South Carolina Gov. Mark Sanford continues to see his name floated in the GOP veepstakes — but he’s still not dropping any hints that he wants the job.
On CNN’s “Late Edition with Wolf Blitzer” yesterday, Blitzer asked Sanford: “You want to be the running mate?”
“No, I'm just trying to survive the week,” Sanford responded. “I made it to Sunday. I got another week ahead of me.”
“What's wrong with being vice president of the United States?,” Blitzer asked.
“There's nothing wrong with being president, there's nothing wrong with being president, there's nothing wrong with being vice president,” Sanford said. “But it's not on my radar screen. I'll worry about that lightning strike if it comes my way.”
Sanford told the Washington Post last year that if the GOP nominee inquired about putting him on the presidential ticket that he would at least entertain the idea. "Of course I'd take the call,” he said at the time.
The fiscal hawk is popular vice presidential option among conservatives, but some McCain insiders say Sanford may have damaged his chances by not endorsing the Arizona senator before the South Carolina primary in January. Sanford, as a congressman, had endorsed McCain during his 2000 bid.
He'd take the call, he says. Christ on the Cross, he's likely already sent Jenny to check out Wal-Mart's selection of inaugural fashions for Marshall-Landon-Bolton-and-Blake (his heirs, not the famous 80s hair band of the same name). Sanford apparently enjoys sleeping in government housing, so he may also have had Jenny call up Lynne Cheney to get the layout of the Naval Observatory.
Of course, Lindsay pipes up to pop that bubble:
South Carolina Sen. Lindsey Graham, one of McCain’s closest advisers, appeared to pour cold water on Sanford’s chances in March, noting that Sanford has had a “tough” tenure as governor.
"To be honest with you, I don't see any of us in South Carolina bringing a whole lot of value to the ticket,” Graham told The State newspaper. “We're talking about winning a national race that's going to be very competitive."
It tickles me that high-priced talkers from out-of-state love to mention the time when Sanford brought two piglets into the State House, on the day after the House dispatched more than a hundred of his line-item budget vetoes lickety-split, one by one, in under a couple of hours. Sanford made a big scene about it, told the media he named the little piglets "Pork" and "Barrel."
What few of them mention is that Sanford, carrying the porkers under his arms in his best navy blue suit, apparently squeezed a big too hard and one of the piglets released some solid waste products onto the massive, antique loom-woven carpet that graces the State House's second-floor lobby. With the concomitant stink. Among a packed crowd of lobbyists outside the House chamber's massive brass doors. Classy.
With his photo op finished, Sanford beat a hasty retreat and, like a good delegater, sent one of his lackeys -- the one who likely came up with the idea, one who doesn't work for him anymore thanks to a criminal domestic violence charge -- to clean up the mess. And following the example of his mentor, that lackey failed at the task and pawned off the work on State House maintenance staff.
They call that a form of "trickle down economics" in South Carolina.
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